Facial Hair: God's Chosen Art Form

While pondering in a wooded glen, I recently had a rather starting realization: I am running out of time to experiment with facial hair before my mission. As a select few of you know, I have already begun to take full advantage of the time remaining to me before this happens. So far I have learned that I look slightly less attractive than usual with a chin strap.

Though, in my defense,
who doesn't?

The whole wide world of facial hair is open to me now (minus anything requiring a full moustache, all the way... ...someday...)

For your convenience (although, let's be serious—I wager most of you will be using the following images for your "viewing pleasure" as well), using the latest in hypothetical imaging software technology, I have compiled a graphical list of a few possibilities for my next experiment.

1. The Mutton Chop

Dating back to that time someone grew huge sideburns and called them mutton chops, this extreme form of facial hair is a favorite among adamantine-clawed X-men, southern Civil War generals, and other cool people the world over.

Projected appearance:

2. The Shaped Burn

Despite the fact that Ludacris sported this look, these slivers of sideburn contain more awesome per capita than the entire state of Alaska. Add that to the "almostache" and the soul patch/decapitated goatee combo, and you have nearly enough awesome to power a small Transformer. I would recommend Optimus, of course.

Projected appearance:

3. The Everything

This look, popularized by Mr. T, really capitalizes on having just a small tuft of regular hair on top of the head. So I may not do this until shortly before I leave to the MTC...

Projected appearance:





Have any facial hair suggestions? I'd love to hear them in the comments.