4 Inventions Earth has yet to Recover from

Invention is born of necessity, or so goes the saying. While this holds true for inventions like cars, velcro, and liposuction, inventions like the ones on this list make me wonder how much LSD the geniuses (or genii, if you happen to be Mr. Vawdrey) responsible for these monstrosities ingested before "seeing" their necessity.

#4. The "Buddy Throw"


This cute little blanket is there to help you cope when you're separated from that important stick-figure in your life. Buddy here reminds you perfectly of his or her welcoming 6-foot-long arm and complete lack of hair. If you're really feeling lonely, you can even sit on his or her lap. Just be careful... it's probably trying to put its arm around whoever is sitting next to you.

About as good an idea as...
Microwaving magnesium

#3. Vending Machine Urban Camoflauge



Can you pick out the human in this group? Here's a hint: it's the wrinkly one. While some type of urban camoflauge will be useful for when China finally decides to go to war with the US, cloth isn't the most convincing metal-imitator. And the inventors of this apparently need a lesson in basic vending machine anatomy. Namely that vending machines don't have feet.

About as good an idea as...
Helping Miley Cyrus become the head of the Church of Scientology

#2. USB Vacuum Cleaner



Tired of those annoying manageably-sized messes within a three foot radius of your computer? I imagine that the inventor of this beauty was too. And by shelling out about $50.00, you too can avoid sweeping those Dorito crumbs off of your mouse pad. Or, at least you would be able to if this vacuum's power was measured in horsepower instead of crippled-pygmy-turtle power.

About as good an idea as...
Soymilk

#1. The Face-Mounted Mirror



Some people just never tire of their own reflections. If you are one of those people, you might be wondering why this is on the "stupid inventions" list - kind of like everyone around you is wondering whether or not the jail time for aggravated assault is a fair price to pay to shoot you in the kneecaps. Well, at least they won't be able to sneak up on you from behind.

About as good an idea as...
Giving Chuck Norris a noogie

Have you ever seen a truly horrendous invention? Share it with the world* in the comments box!

*The phrase "the world" may or may not refer to the six readers of this blog.