Not quite
Each episode, Bear is dropped (usually by means of him jumping out of a helicopter after pretending to be scared to do so) into the middle of nowhere, and has a week to find his way back to civilization. He must follow certain rules:
Rule 1: Bear is only allowed a knife, a flint, and the clothes on his back, plus some equipment depending on the area he's in (skis when he was in Alaska, etc.).
Rule 2: Bear can't just stay in one spot and wait to be rescued - he has to be moving throughout the show and demonstrating survival techniques along the way.
Rule 3: Bear must ruin his knife each episode by using it to do such things as hitting it with a rock to cut down a tree. Yes, I said Bear Grylls cuts down trees with pocketknives.
Good work, Bear
Rule 4: Bear must eat something completely disgusting during the course of each episode. Bonus points are awarded for cooking it in an equally disgusting way, or eating food raw that really needs to be cooked.
"I could really use some mayonnaise."
Rule 5: Bear's shirt comes off every episode. This is non-negotiable.
  Bear in Alaska. Seriously. |
Rule 6: Bear must do several things that look completely unnecessary, but then explain why they are, in fact, necessary by telling an extremely vague story. Example: "What I can't stress enough is the importance of insulation underneath you to sleep on. Just last year, a mother and her daughter were camping out in this rainforest. When they arrived at their campsite, they put down tents without insulation underneath. Twelve minutes later, both were dead."
Hopefully, at the end of the episode, we get a deep, thoughtful monologue about how his travels in the area have changed his life. And with that, I'll leave you with a spoof I produced with my cousins and uncle this summer.
That pretty much was a very sweet spoof video! Nice work! I laughed lots nice work. It is so true though all his quirky things.
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful post. It's true that so many of those things are "non-negotiable"
ReplyDeleteAlso, I LOVE large man vs. wild. Vance's line about fish liking to hang out in the rapids.
The only thing that could have made this post better would have been a dab of mayonnaise.
I have never watched man vs. wild, but I now have a certain desire to do so after reading and watching your interpretation of the show.
ReplyDeleteQuestion. Is the camera crew roughing it with him or do they just watch him as he becomes one with nature? I think I would feel awkard if I were the camera man just watching him partake of raw animal.
ReplyDeleteWell I think they have food and stuff with them, but Bear just isn't allowed to have any... haha I don't know if it would be more awkward watching him eat roadkill, or watching him eat roadkill while they have ramen noodles made on a stove. Then again, Bear sleeps in hotels most of the time he's supposedly sleeping outside (sad but true) so I'm sure the crew does just fine on the food front :)
ReplyDelete